You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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