you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Be still, my beating vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
