remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize