I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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