I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
