I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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