have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need a beard to bite.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
