He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
