I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
