thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
