our cab driver is having phone sex.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
