Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
