can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just google imaged poop.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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