no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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