i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
