And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
