I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
