Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my being single is dangerous.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
