Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
