Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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