Dual....:-)
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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