I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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