Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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