He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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