I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
