I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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