Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So much rum. So many feels.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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