i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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