My friends, they love my intelligence
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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