She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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