"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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