I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
