After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
