Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
