After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
