I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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