well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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