I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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