Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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