Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
