you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
