What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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