help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
