Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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