I showed him my bush... on skype.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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