we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
