whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
