i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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