She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
