I will die if light touches me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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