Plan B is the new Plan A
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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