finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
