My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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