A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
