thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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