Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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