I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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