thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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