thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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